Booger McLovin

Few words in Scripture are as misunderstood as submission. Non-believers often cite passages like Genesis 3:16 and claim the Bible is misogynistic. Even some Christians hesitate at the word, fearing it reduces women to little more than slaves of men. But this is far from the truth of God’s design.

From the beginning, God’s plan was not for women to be oppressed, but for husbands and wives to serve one another in love. Submission, as God defines it, is not a loss of dignity. It is the free yielding of self for the good of the other, patterned after Christ Himself.

Clearing Misconceptions

Submission does not mean blind obedience. It does not give husbands permission to dominate or abuse their wives. Scripture is clear that God hates oppression. Husbands are commanded to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Christ laid down His life, and no act of cruelty or selfishness can ever be excused as biblical headship.

When critics call the Bible misogynistic, they overlook that it calls husbands to the highest standard of love. A husband who fails to honor his wife disobeys God. Peter warns that if husbands do not treat their wives with understanding and respect, their prayers will be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). That is hardly the language of male tyranny.

The Context of Scripture

The Bible was written over 1,500 years, and no new books have been added for nearly 2,000 years. This means Christians must approach it as one would an ancient legal document, interpreting timeless truths and applying them faithfully in the present.

Paul’s words on submission are often quoted without the full context. Before speaking to wives, he tells all believers to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). A wife’s respect is paired with the husband’s duty to sacrifice himself. True headship means bearing responsibility for the family’s protection and provision, never seeking power for its own sake.

The Nature of Roles

In God’s ordinary design, men are called to provide and protect, and women are called to nurture and sustain life. This is not a rigid mold but a natural rhythm. Some women are strong providers. Some men are natural nurturers. Marriage is meant to harmonize these strengths, creating a partnership where each serves the other.

Submission, then, is not slavery. It is a choice to trust a man who is himself submitted to Christ. A husband who leads as Christ leads does not demand service but earns trust by sacrificial love.

Leadership as Service

Jesus redefined greatness when He said: “Whoever wants to become prominent among you shall be your servant, and whoever desires to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:26–28).

Here is the essence of leadership. True authority is service. Christ showed this not only in word but in deed, giving His life on the cross. If husbands are called to lead, it is only in this way—by laying down their own desires, sacrificing for their wives, and serving as Christ served.

So when Scripture calls wives to submit, it is not inviting oppression. It is inviting both husband and wife into a dance of mutual service, with the husband leading not by force but by self-giving love.

The Beauty of God’s Design

Biblical submission is not about control. It is about trust. It is not about oppression. It is about love. It is the picture of Christ and the church. He loved first. He gave first. He served first. And the church responds with joyful trust.

When lived out faithfully, submission in marriage is not a weapon of abuse but a testimony of the Gospel itself. Husband and wife become a team, serving one another, raising children in love, and displaying to the world the character of Christ.