Booger McLovin

This is a question worth carrying into every part of life. Whether you are seeking God, talking with friends, or even in a disagreement with your spouse, the way you approach the conversation will decide whether it becomes fruitful or damaging. Are you truly after the truth, or are you simply trying to win?

Jesus declared, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6). If truth is found in Him, then every discussion, whether small or great, should be guided by the desire to know Him better, not simply to prove ourselves superior.

Unity Within the Family of Christ

When I listen to or read Christians from different traditions, whether Protestant, Catholic, or Orthodox, I try to remember that our shared confession is what matters most. If someone confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord and seeks Him in repentance, then they are my brother or sister in Christ. That truth takes the weight out of smaller disagreements. Paul reminds us, “For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body” (1 Corinthians 12:13).

I do not need to fight over every point of theology. Instead, I aim to listen, to learn, and to build common ground. If a question is asked, I will answer sincerely, but without turning it into a contest. Scripture warns, “But avoid foolish controversies… for they are useless and worthless” (Titus 3:9). Unity in Christ is far more important than proving myself sharper in argument.

Conversations With Those Outside the Faith

But not all conversations are with fellow believers. What about those who reject Christ altogether? The goal in such moments is not to win a shouting match, but to uncover truth. One way I prepare is by anticipating the answers someone will give, so that I can ask the next question in a way that makes them think deeply. Scripture teaches, “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer” (Proverbs 15:28).

The method is not to corner them unfairly, but to invite them to see the contradictions within their own belief system. I want to remain honest and gentle, since truth spoken without love becomes hard to hear. “But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15).

The Audience Matters

There is also another layer to consider. When others are listening, the conversation is no longer just between two people. In such moments, my aim is not to humiliate the one I am speaking with, but to show the listeners that truth has nothing to fear. Paul told Timothy, “The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, skillful in teaching, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition” (2 Timothy 2:24–25).

Arguments that are loud and proud may win attention, but they rarely win hearts. What wins the audience is calm, consistent, and clear truth.

Pride or Humility

In the end, it comes down to humility. Pride wants to be right. Humility wants to be changed by what is true. Paul exhorts us, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). And again, “For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth” (2 Corinthians 13:8).

Truth does not need clever tricks. It only needs to be revealed. If you seek truth above victory, you may lose some arguments, but you will never lose your integrity. And in time, you may help others find what they were truly seeking all along: the truth that leads to Christ.